hello!

monster

I am not the monster, and yet the monster is me.

We are the monster, and we are not.

He is sad, and he is angry, and he screams and tears at my skin and pulls at my hair.

And he is beautiful. Because he is her as well.

And she is radiant and beautiful, filled with everything I strive to be. She is patient and already here.

And the monster is painful, because it seems thats all anyone can see, when I so clearly see the goddess.

And the goddess is in pain, when others see her, and I only see the monster.

But maybe the monster is simply hurt from being kept in the dark so long?
Maybe monsters are just creatures we dont fully understand.
Maybe he has a place here, inside of me?
Maybe he belongs here just as much as she does.
Maybe monster was a friend this whole time, a homunculus assembled from every projection of a man placed onto to me by external eyes.

Screaming in pain, he begs for me to do something- only to turn away from me in rejection now that I finally see him.


Maybe he feels abandoned.


But the goddess knows how to handle these situations. She is patient, and she is wise.

So to monster, I say, "I'm sorry."

And to monster, I say, "aren't you excited?"

And to monster, she says, "Come out with me. "

And so I am the monster.
And I am the goddess.

And it's okay.